Giving options is definitely a good one as it really does help them feel like they have at least a *bit* of control in their otherwise very controlled lives - but it's a double edged sword. My almost 5 year old now responds with options when I need him to do something, as he's decided most things in life now come with options, even things like wearing your shoes outdoors and eating enough food to keep you alive.
The 'how to talk' book series is really good, if you do want to read something, but mostly just know that it happens to all of us, we all get frustrated about it, it'll all be OK in the end
Thank you, Charlotte!! Yes, I already hear myself saying, “And what would you like to do now?!” when, you’re right, sometimes there’s only one option and it is what it is. I’m all for a good read. Thanks!
Hi Ashley! I have 4 kids. My oldest is 16 now and his tantrums were epic. I really struggled to not lose my freaking mind when he was having these tantrums that would sometimes literally ruin our whole day, and a few times I did in fact lose my mind (yell and scream some ugly things) which left me feeling like absolute shit. What helped the most was when I realized that when we were able to ride out a tantrum together without me losing it, we felt closer to one another on the other side. Think of it as your kid checking to see if you will still love them if they go totally bonkers. Every time you pass the test so to speak, they are reminded that you will always be a safe place, no matter out of control they feel. Do whatever it takes to remain calm when they can’t, and it will be worth it! And if it makes you feel any better, he was by far my most difficult toddler/young child and now as a sophomore in high school he is kind of a perfect angel! Hang in there! 💕
Giving options is definitely a good one as it really does help them feel like they have at least a *bit* of control in their otherwise very controlled lives - but it's a double edged sword. My almost 5 year old now responds with options when I need him to do something, as he's decided most things in life now come with options, even things like wearing your shoes outdoors and eating enough food to keep you alive.
The 'how to talk' book series is really good, if you do want to read something, but mostly just know that it happens to all of us, we all get frustrated about it, it'll all be OK in the end
Thank you, Charlotte!! Yes, I already hear myself saying, “And what would you like to do now?!” when, you’re right, sometimes there’s only one option and it is what it is. I’m all for a good read. Thanks!
You're welcome, good luck!
Hi Ashley! I have 4 kids. My oldest is 16 now and his tantrums were epic. I really struggled to not lose my freaking mind when he was having these tantrums that would sometimes literally ruin our whole day, and a few times I did in fact lose my mind (yell and scream some ugly things) which left me feeling like absolute shit. What helped the most was when I realized that when we were able to ride out a tantrum together without me losing it, we felt closer to one another on the other side. Think of it as your kid checking to see if you will still love them if they go totally bonkers. Every time you pass the test so to speak, they are reminded that you will always be a safe place, no matter out of control they feel. Do whatever it takes to remain calm when they can’t, and it will be worth it! And if it makes you feel any better, he was by far my most difficult toddler/young child and now as a sophomore in high school he is kind of a perfect angel! Hang in there! 💕
Oh Kelly, I love this! I love how you say to “ride out a tantrum together” — trying every day to be that safe place. Thanks for cheering me on! 💕